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I don’t mind losing because I still win!

Updated: May 14, 2020

Life is no competition and it’s sad that people actually think like that. Being competitive is a great trait. But what happens to losers? Do we give them a pretty blue ribbon for participating? The comparing, competing, and taunting is probably a sign of weakness or insecurity. There are no losers in life, just people who experience unfortunate results because of their actions. In the end, the important thing is how you handle the loss. I like to think of myself of a winner, even in losing situations.

I’ve been losing but hey whose keeping score right? I have a bad bad habit of seeing the good in people and situations first. You know idea that everything happens for a reason and maybe, just maybe there is more to this than what I know? Sounding a little naïve but what’s the alternative? I could wallow in self-pity and drown in my sorrow and just think the worst of everyone involved and that the outcome will simply destroy me. Just the thought alone could actually destroy me. I knocked out two things off that list already, the others, I just cannot do. I take things out on myself and torment my poor soul about the “what ifs” but I have never and will never blame anyone for my pain; it’s just not in me. It takes a special skill to not use anger, and/or frustration to communicate; two things could happen, the truth, regret, or both. While this is about winning; winning does require clarity and effective communication. There is this little saying, “we do not listen to understand, we listen to respond”.Still, this is about winning, losing, and learning.

I have no relationship with failure. I’ve made some mistakes but I never counted them as failures because they were minute compared to other things, except for one thing. It was supposed to be easy and I am good at a lot of things. So what happened? There was not much preparation, research and the subject, unsuitable. Academically, I have done well for myself; also I have a well of useful professional experience and as a budding entrepreneur, I am as well-rounded as it gets and I’m just getting started. Personally, I’m a little weird, but I adapt, a little picky but not afraid of compromise. So what if failed at something or some things? It wasn’t the end of any world. Life goes on; it’s the going on with life that matters at this point.

Losing has to happen for you to learn; when you get the lesson, you win. We lose because of our expectations, sometimes unsupported expectations. I haven’t asked “why me” in a while and that feels good because it’s not always about what I have, want, or need. As crazy as it sounds, sometimes people make decisions for themselves, for their growth, and that has absolutely nothing to do with you, or me. Of course, it hurts like a motherfucker, but when you make a decision to better yourself, you cannot take everyone with you. Moreover, sometimes, we are all at a different levels of growth so cohesiveness is not so forthcoming.

Failure, is not the end, it is a time to bawl your eyes out, wipe the tears away and get back on the grind. Remember to live and learn. Sometimes, you win, sometimes you lose, all the time, please learn.

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